Dating: The Importance of Compatibility

While everyone understands the importance of love in a relationship, many people overlook the importance of compatibility.  Love alone will not keep a relationship alive beyond the initial stages.  Compatibility is the element that keeps relationships going for decades, and a lack of it can spell disaster.  Compatibility in a relationship is comprised of compatibility across several areas, all of which need to be examined before a long-term commitment to the relationship takes place.

Compatibility Areas

The following are some of the major compatibility areas that must be considered in a relationship:

  1. Connection needed.  There are varying levels of connection, and we all have different needs.  You should look for a partner who wants a similar depth of connection if you want compatibility.  If you need to feel a deep connection, but your partner wants to keep things light and superficial, then both of you will be miserable.  You will feel as though something is missing and your partner will feel constantly pressured.
  2. Friends and family.  While you and your partner do not need to love each other’s family and friends, you do need to have similar attitudes about them.  If one of you enjoys spending time with extended family and the other does not, it will become a source of disagreement between the two of you.  At the same time, if one of you wants more time alone together than with friends, while the other wants to have more time with friends, you will end up fighting over the issue.
  3. Children and parenting.  This is a big issue for any couple considering a long-term commitment.  If one of you wants children and the other does not, eventually it will become an argument point.  This also holds true for your views on parenting because parents need to present a united front with their children to keep peace within the home. 
  4. Integrity.  Integrity is a broad category that can also include honesty, reliability, fidelity and loyalty.  These are all factors that affect your ability to trust your partner.  If you have differing views on the importance of integrity and trustworthy behavior, then your relationship is not going to last far beyond the “honeymoon” stage. 
  5. Finances.  Not surprisingly, this is a major point of disagreement for many couples.  Both people in a relationship need to have a similar attitude toward finances.  If one is happy with a modest income and a small home while the other is set on being wealthy, it will create tension in the relationship.  The same thing happens if one partner wants to save money and the other wants to spend it freely. 

While these are not the only areas involved in compatibility, they are some of the major areas.  A lack of compatibility in these areas leads to a lack of harmony in the relationship, eventually causing the relationship to end.  While love is an excellent basis for any relationship, compatibility is essential to making that relationship last.  When making the decision of whether to make a long-term commitment, the importance of compatibility to a successful relationship should not be overlooked. 

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Did you know an estimated 83% of divorces would not occur if people simply asked the right questions while dating?

Our proven, time-tested Compatibility Test reveals the often overlooked areas in a relationship and systematically covers nearly all major topics.


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