Conscious Agreements in a Relationship
Agreements and compromises are an integral part of any relationship. When this protocol is set with mutual understanding and in the best interest of all parties involved in a relationship, it is termed a conscious agreement.
We shall consider a typical situation that would call for a conscious agreement now. A spouse who doubts the real intentions of the partner as regards what appears to be an extra marital affair can be treated as one such situation. While one partner fears losing the loved one to competition outside marriage, the other might be perfectly justified in claiming that the relationship is purely a platonic one and poses no threat what so ever to the partner who fears otherwise. In order to rule out any uncertainty and possible tension that can arise between the couple, it is best that they first come to a consensus on the following:
Decide how they would want their relationship to be with each other,
Find out what each partner wants from the relationship they share
Following this, they can begin to create conscious agreements that will work for both of them in all aspects of their lives, since this is one of the best places to start while trying to create an outstanding relationship.
A conscious agreement also is about what each member that forms part of a relationship expects from each another in any given situation. Ideally, these conscious agreements should be created well in advance, before the situations have a chance to become real problems. Of course, following up on these agreements are also an important element to their success.
There is a school of thought that is opposed to the concept of conscious agreements for the fear that the element of surprise vanishes from life if too many of these doctrines of mutual understanding are laid down. It really depends on how one would like to look at it, and this might be why several others tend to disagree with this ideology and support the cause of conscious agreements. The supporters of this method opine that in the absence of such agreements, the relationship is under the constant threat of unnecessary assumptions and doubts that can be sufficient to shake the very foundations of your relationship. Conscious agreements can be created for just about any relationship in almost any area of your life and help ward off problems that may crop up from time to time. The advantages of such agreements are the virtues they demand in partners such as honesty and the courage to voice out one’s true feelings to each other. The best way to begin is to open up and have a ‘heart to heart’ and you will soon find all the differences melt away into oblivion.